Being in an "over 2 years" relationship with Mr. Jekyll (the boyfriend) and being in a long distance relationship with him, it just makes me paranoid about the Unreasonable things, unreasonable thoughts that keeps on occuring in my head.

 I am becoming an ureasonable, demanding bitch to my boyfriend!

I want his Time (that is why i added him on my phone line and on top of that I PAY THE BILL! without any share from him, but i guess its partly my fault because I insisted.) If you are wondering, how did we even meet and where the heck are you guys located anyway? well, lets just say I am from southern california and he is almost near nevada! yeP so technically we don't see each other everyday, we only see each other once a month (and when we do see each other, he is freaakinnn horny everytime! and sometimes it irritates me!) so basically, our foundation in our relationship is via Phone. We talked everyday! every night! every minute but nowadays, he is always busy, he always care about his friends more than me (that's how I see it!) and when he says "ill call you back" and gullible me will wait for him till its almost 1 am, and it'll just hit me "woah, i guess he forgot about me" broken promises! Boo You Jekyll!!!

Like last night, he FORGOT to tell me that their house party was that night and when I called him around 6, he's like, "oh, my friend is here I'll call  you back." I waited till 9pm and tired me finally decided to just give it up, just sleep because I know, typical him, forgot about me again. So i texted him and told him "I'm going to sleep now."

He called me and he is apologizing (which is typical, he always say that he is but I am just sick of hearing sorry from him) and I heard on the background that there's music and people.

"You didn't tell me that tonight is your house party." - I said
"Oh yeah, sorry about that." - he said

Silly me, waited for him, excited to talk to him and play with him yet  he totally forgot to mention that! what a loser!

I am soo mad at him. I know I am being unreasonable for being mad at him but what can i say, I am used to talking to him all the time, ALL THE TIME! That is even why we have this relationship in the first place. But he just keeps on forgetting that he has a girlfriend waiting for his call! he does not even think that calls and promises for him are important to me. I have all the right to be a demanding bitch as I am now with him. Were over 2 years already in this relationship and I can't see his commitment improving as days pass by. I don't think that he is even the guy who I wanted to be for the rest of my life!

I think I don't want to be with him anymore.

sad but true.

-Ms. Hyde

   When I was in Highschool, I always wanted to have a boyfriend. Or maybe just a date or someone who admires me and brings me roses or teddy bears every valentines day, someone to go to the prom with, someone who'll ask me to dance with him and then have these butterflies in my stomach. Someone to be with, someone dreamy.

   I know my ideal guy! Ofcourse there's the... he must be handsome, understanding, sweet, thoughtful, caring and all those predictabe characteristics that when you ask a random girl in the streets, she'll say the same thing. But I told myself, that my ideal guy should be like my brothers.

   I have 2 brothers. And I have watched them grow and I know how much they love their girlfriends. They are True. Genuine, one of a kind. They are the sweetest and girls will be jealous because they are not with them.

...so back to me... I never had a boyfriend in highschool... nope! no admirers and no nooothhhiiinnn... not till college.

   I fell in love with my boyfriend, lets call him Mr. Jekyll. (coz I'm ms. hyde? idk) To this date, were now exactly 2 years and 6 months and 14 days. Were going strong i guess? But did he passed my ideal guy expectations? well he is sweet and caring to the point that I want to kill him for being too much!( it becomes annoying)  Understanding? yeah he passed that. But what I don't like that I am still putting up with him for the last two years 6months and 14 days is that he doesn't have any church manners at all,(which is embarassing coz church is important to me.) he's  horny too much and he goes out with his friends from night till freeaakkiiinnn 7 in the morning! I hate that! And he is sometimes soo insensitive. I can say that I am demanding but dang! He is just sometimes retarded. He even still checks out girls and invites them to his house just to hang out? And the countless broken promises that he gave to me! The nerve of him! I had attempted to break up with him a million times, but surprisingly, we are still  together. (true love? hmmm...)

   He is not like my brothers but I still don't understand why I am still with him. I know that I should not cling on to that expectation but its just hard and till now I am still ashamed of introducing him to my other friends and relatives. My family is unassured till now about him.

    These past few days it feels that I am bored with him, that I don't want to pick up my phone whenever I see his name pop out. Im bored with our relationship yet I don't know if I should end it or not.

- Ms. Hyde

   For sure you know or familiar with The story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. But for the sake of the readers who does not know the story, here's what you need to do. Go to google and type it! Simple eh? But the synopsis goes like this:

   "Dr. Jekyll experiments with a drug that splits his personality into good and evil elements; he gradually loses control of the process and finds himself slipping more and more frequently into the guise of the evil and depraved Hyde. When Hyde is sought for murder, Jekyll kills himself."

   I personally have not watched the movie or read the books, but I have watched the Musical which I totally adore. It was one of my favorite musicals that I have seen. But what I got from jekyll and hyde is that, in real life, in reality, the good always have an evil side and the evil will always have a good side. Us human all have flaws. We lie, we cheat, we curse, we do pretty bad stuff to each other even with just our minds. We try to hide the evil side of us from people so that they could not judge us but it just comes out one way or another. but the important thing is atleast, we control them that we try to vanquish the evil in all of us.

 ... but as to my point, there is good and evil in all of us. Evil may be a big word and not the right word to use, but I refer evil to, I guess, the "stinks" that we kept on hiding. Or I am hiding in this case.

here's one of the song that played in Jekyll and Hyde Musical titled: FACADE

There's a face that we wear
In the cold light of day -
It's society's mask,
It's society's way,
And the truth is
That it's all a façade!

There's a face that we hide
Till the nighttime appears,
And what's hiding inside,
Behind all of our fears,
Is our true self,
Locked inside the façade!

Every day
People, in their own sweet way,
Like to add a coat of paint,
And be what they ain't!

That's how our little -
Game is played,
Livin' like a masquerade
Actin' a bizarre charade -
While playing the saint!

But there's one thing I know,
And I know it for sure:
This disease that we've got
Has got no ready cure!
And I'm certain
Life is terribly hard -
When your life's a façade!

Look around you!
I have found
You cannot tell, by lookin' at the surface,
What is lurkin' there beneath it!
See that face!
Now, I'm prepared to bet you,
What you see's not what you get -
'Cause man's a master of deceit !

So, what is the sinister secret?
The lie he will tell you is true? -
It's that each man you meet
In the street
Isn't one man but two!

Nearly everyone you see -
Like him an' her,
An' you, an' me -
Pretends to be
A pillar of society -
A model for propriety -
Sobriety
An' piety -
Who shudders at the thought
Of notoriety!

The ladies an' gents 'ere before you -
Which none of 'em ever admits -
May 'ave saintly looks -
But they're sinners an' crooks!

Hypocrites!
Hypocrites!

There are preachers who kill!
There are killers who preach!
There are teachers who lie!
There are liars who teach!
Take yer pick, dear -
"Cause it's all a façade!

If we're not one, but two,
Are we evil or good?
Do we walk the fine line -
That we'd cross if we could?
Are we waiting -
To break through the façade?

One or two
Might look kinda well-to-do -
Hah! They're bad as me an' you,
Right down they're boots!

I'm inclined to think -
Half mankind
Thinks the other half is blind!
Wouldn't be surprise to find -
They're all in cahoots!

At the end of the day,
They don't mean what they say,
They don't say what they mean,
They don't ever come clean -
And the answer -
Is it's all a façade!
Is it's all a façade!
Man is not one, but two,
He is evil and good,
An' he walks the fine line
We'd all cross if we could!

It's a nightmare -
We can never discard -
So we stay on our guard -
Though we love the façade -
What's behind the façade?
Look behind the façade!

-Ms. Hyde